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Pokechan13 β Fantasy Dreams Au Clover-octavius
#au #fantasy #new_au #20xx #anime #clover #colorful #dreaming #dreams #fairytale #fears #halffairy #manga #nightmares #octavius #sociopath #timeandspace #my_oc #pokechan13
Published: 2015-03-28 17:12:34 +0000 UTC; Views: 861; Favourites: 19; Downloads: 1
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Description
Well now. We have a sociopathic god complex monster and a beautiful fairytale princess in a dream controlling the balance of each other. Surprisingly they each have a meaning and a purpose in the fantasy dreams the main 6 oc's have each night.Clover- The first child she has met before was Stella. When Stella was only six years old she was still living with her abusive parents and would cry every night. Yet when she dreams she meets clover who was believed to be an imaginary friend who would play with her, go on exciting adventures and read her stories. Yet now that she is much older now she soon found out that she was real when they were online one day which surprised her.In the dreams Clover's purpose is to be the guardian on good dreams and reality. That is why the aura around her is so colorful like a water colored rainbow. Despite her being half human in the dreams the others don't seem to mind her at all even if she is half fairy.
(Edit: 3/29/15)
Octavius- Not a dream demon but since he has demonic powers he is able to do almost anything supernatural beings would do. He is able to see what the others cannot see and takes advantage of that certain feel. Basically he can manipulate others dreams and memories of their past.Β
Both ocs belong to me(You can make fanart of them if you'd like.)
Programs used: Photoshop elements 9, Manga Studio 5(Clip studio paint)
Octavius/Clover
Alex/Ed
Violet/Skull
Ruchika/Kavi
Tony/Stella
Nikita/Raphel
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Comments: 9
I'd like to give a critique of your character if that's okay with you.
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Of coarse you can. ^u^
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Thank you!
Here are some things that require minor fixes:
1) Socipoathy is not a real mental disorder, and is not professionally diagnosed (see here: psychcentral.com/disorders/ant⦠). I kinda think you just added the adjective because it's "cool."
2) When you say that the girl found out that Clover was real because they were online one day, do you mean that other people have experienced Clover, or that Clover is capable of using the internet? Because with the second option, you're going to have to explain how that's possible.
3) If Octavius only has demonic powers, and isn't a real demon, I don't really think it's applicable to call him a "monster."
4) "...and takes advantage of that certain feel." What?
5) It seems really, REALLY overpowered that he can control time and space in addition to all the powers he already has. I would delete this.
6) You mean that Violet is deaf only in dreams, and not in reality, right? Becuase otherwise, that would also be overpowered.
Your main problem, though, is that each of these characters have no weaknesses. You need something that limits them, and makes it so that they aren't Mary Sues, which these totally are. I would check out this website:Β www.springhole.net/writing/marβ¦
also:
occritiques.tumblr.com/
help-your-oc-reviews.tumblr.coβ¦
fyeahsuereview.tumblr.com/
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I started taking the test and I was surprised of the result!
Octavius has a high chance of being a Mary Sue. 0_0 I need help.
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If you are confused by it all I have there profiles right here.
Octavius:Β pokechan13.deviantart.com/art/β¦
Clover:Β pokechan13.deviantart.com/art/β¦
Well violet is a dubstep artist in real life but she is also a bit deaf.
Yet Clover is fairly new so she is a bit under developed.
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Well, thank you for the links, which clarify some things, but I would still say that Octavius is just way too overpowered. Plus, it's never clearly explained why he became "evil." Sure, he consults with supernatural phenomena, but if he's a brilliant scientist then I would think his first job would be proving the existence of supernatural entities, and then by sticking a ghost in the LHC and watching what happens :3
Plus, he is still way, way too overpowered. Unconquerable god of time, space and dreams? He needs weaknesses, dude. All characters need weaknesses. The first fix off the top of my head is making him an entity that ONLY exists in people's dreams.
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Now that you mention about weaknesses I was thinking of him have weakness of bullets, being out at sea, sea salt and basically anything with salt I guess.(Maybe the ghost of the victims he killed haunting him.) However he is from the future and how became crazy is when he was when he found a mysterious hybrid gem of the coast of France (A reference to the jewels from Castle in the sky.) that had potential and power to time travel. Little did he knew that it was part of Government property because they just should up suddenly. Possible from a chemical reaction or from an alt. universe who knows.
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Weaknesses of bullets... Well, I mean, since he was human to start out with, why not just have him be weak to ordinary mortal things?
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Ok.
Thank you for your help.
And if you want to learn more about octavius feel free to ask.
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